I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize