Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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