im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
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I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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