as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
