im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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