she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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