I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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