2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
