Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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