We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
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And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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