We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
