I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
