whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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