I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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