he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
