He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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