I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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