did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
