I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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