It was confusing and full of hummus
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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