I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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