So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize