I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
