You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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