How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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