love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
