What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I am never drinking with the goths again.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
