So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
