you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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