Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
