Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
