dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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