Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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