Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
