We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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