yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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