don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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