Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
