i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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