Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
