have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
