mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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