So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
