I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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