dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
