check it out our google latitudes are spooning
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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