i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
