It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
