What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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