Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
