I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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