Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
