Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
