we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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