Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
