We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
