she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
