be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
