all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I did not marry a roomba.
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