I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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