I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize